Chipology - for the love of a good Chip

These are Chips:

Also: Pomme Frites or, French Fries

And these are Crisps:

Both are good.

But today, we are talking about Chips.

Over dinner, myself and some friends spent the best part of an hour discussing, ruminating and debating over the best kind of Chip.
If the length and volume of our conversation is any measure, it is apparent that many of us feel quite passionate about our Chips.
Actually, if I cast my mind back, I don't think I have ever met anyone that said,
"No thanks, I'm just not that keen on chips."

Now, where we DO seem to differ is what we consider to be

a) The Perfect Chip.
AND .....
b) Our Methodology to attain the Perfect Chip.

The Perfect Chip

The Chip-Loving World seems divided on this.
Some fall in the Golden and Crisy camp.

You know the ones. 

The ones that maintain their perfect form as they travel from wrapper/plate to mouth.

Their firmness allows for ease of dipping into your sauce of choice: 

Ketchup
Brown

Curry

You do not need to take in to account the Droop Factor to avoid getting red, brown or curry sauce on your knuckles.

 

There is an audible crunch as you bite through the crispy outer and discover the fluffy, steam-emitting carby interior.

CARE: they register high on the 'burn the roof of mouth' risk 

Others, the Pale & Soggy camp.

If you detect some bias, you would be right. I love a pale and soggy chip.

*drool*
But, standby, Antacids...

Droopy. Greasy.
The advantage with this chip is that when you shake the salt on, it doesn't ricochet off on to the table.

There is high Droop Factor with this chip.

You must dangle to dip (Copyright : Roo) but, what happens next is a matter of personal preference.

I recommend the technique known as the Baby Bird. Tip head back, drop chip in.  It is un-ladylike but it will minimise greasy fingers and getting sauce all over yourself, including your chin (also un-ladylike).

Comfort Food Quotient is exceptionally high with the Pale & Soggy.
It is like a curling up on the sofa, with a duvet, with BBC's Pride & Prejudice on the box.
For the duration, all is well with the world.

Also, you feel a little Edgy. A little Dangerous. A little Screw You, World.
Eating chips.
You know it is bad but, like all Bad Things it is soooooooooo good.

The Methodology

Transportation

Can we have a show of hands?
Who thinks the best way to eat a chip is straight from the paper? (Bonus Point: a seagull stalking you)

Yes, I thought so.

Unanimous.

Potential Area of Difficulty:
Sometimes, you cannot eat them straightaway.

Sometimes  you have to drive, or walk, them home.
Sometimes, you need to carry them to where everyone else is sitting on, let's say, the beach.

And remember, there's that seagull.

What do you do?

Wrap them up tight, in a plastic bag?
or do you ......

...... tear a hole in the paper to let the steam out to avoid Steam-induced Sogginess, which is the evil step-sibling of Yummy Greasy Sogginess.

Condiments

A further opportunity for heated debate.

Convention might suggest, Salt THEN vinegar.

In our household, we have gone with Vinegar, then Salt.

Helps the sticking, see?

In Conclusion

I never met a chip I didn't like.
Clearly, there are some that I like better than others.

Some may scoff at my Enthusiasm for the Humble Chip.

But I am willing to bet, that if presented with a bowl, plate or bag of chips - most of you will scan, select and eat individual chips in order of preference.

According to your own unique set of criteria.

TEST

Have a look again.
If that was your bag of chips, you would pick which you would eat first.
Admit it.

An Unmade Bed at the Food Court United Nations

Yesterday, I dropped the Kid at his SOUTH AFRICAN school-buddy's birthday party.

Tried to be brave about the fact that I was in a mall & the 1st (BRITISH & IRISH) Lions test against AUSTRALIA was taking place.

BUT, it wasn't a dead loss.  I WAS in a mall during the DUBAI Summer Surprise Sales so, silver lining & all that.

Spent from a mere smidge of pre-holiday shopping, I rewarded myself with a monster skinny cappu (from Gloria Jean's, incidentally.  AUSTRALIAN.  Hoped that it wasn't a sign.  Remember, I knew nothing of the outcome of the afore-mentioned rugby match at the time) & some chips from McDs, for a spot of SRM (see Spontaneous Reading Moments post).

Sitting there, in my SRM bubble, with caffeine & carbs, I became aware of the family to my left.

A lone man, with 4 abaya'd ladies.  A baby in a buggy, 2 girl children (un-abaya'd) and an older boy child (playing on some handheld electronic device). 
I don't know but I guess it is possible that more than one of these ladies were his wives.  It's a thing that is part of life here.  I don't judge & anyway, they are all having a nice time sharing their mega Mac Attack meal.  THIS I get.

I glance around.  A positively psychedelic plethora of racial & cultural representatives are sharing the Food Court experience with me, on a weekend, one of the last before Ramadan.

There was a mainland CHINESE, maybe TAIWANESE, family, INDIAN families, LEBANESE families, families with their SOMALI, ETHIOPIAN, SUDANESE (I am toooooootally hazarding a guess here, you understand) helpers & FILIPINO families.

Just from where I am sitting I can see full abayas with burkas & hijabs all the colours of the rainbow http://www.hijab-styles.com/.

Hands up if you've ever spotted skintight trousers, gigantic boofy hair, killer heels & unnaturally inflated lips (& the rest!) in a mall in Dubai.  Honest to goodness, there is a whole table of them over there. 
Their children & maids are at the next table.

Maxi dresses, shorts & sleeveless tops are here too, alongside plenty of salwar kameez(s), men & women.  Is that the correct plural? 

Here too, in the KFC queue, the 'long shorts with flipflop' combo.  The weekend uniform of the standard male Western expat.

The crisp, utterly uncrumpled kandoras are modeled perfectly by a host of fathers, husbands & teenage boys.  HOW is that possible?

In 9 years I have never seen a dishdash in any form of disarray, whereas, whatever I do, I always look like an unmade bed.

Everyone is just doing their thing, not paying attention to anyone, except for the lady with a froffy coffee & a bag o'frites, scribbling on a napkin.

OK, need to stop staring.

Back to book.  Book about the fall of the BRITISH Raj in INDIA.

If I don't press on, I'll never find out how it ends & these chips aren't going scoff themselves.