A Christmas Miracle - Day 16

Here we are, Sweeties, on the final approach.

Not much longer now.

Christmas Day, minus 8 days.

Current status:
mad panic!!

Why?

Well, in a few days time, we are throwing a party for 50+ people at home :)

Looking forward to it massively, though One feels tremendous responsibility when undertaking the Fostering of the Festive Feeling, for Folk Far from Home.

We all have to work a little extra hard at getting all Joy To The World & Frosty The Snowman.

Stands to reason when, daily, we must battle decidedly unMerry elements - blue skies, temperatures in the 20's (Celcius) and all this goddamn sunshine.

However, by hook or by crook, I am getting my Noel on and I'm taking every man jack of you down with me.

Also, we have, like, 3 glasses.  The Maths are against Us.

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I do.  I, seriously, LOVE Christmas.
There's so much to love.

But today, I only want to talk about ..........

The Tree

Doesn't everyone
have a Christmas
Sea Monkey?

The Tree is plastic.  There. I said it.

Built and decorated complete with Family Tension.

The Tension is de rigeur & as much part of Christmas as eating mincepies in the morning throughout December & running out of sticky tape on Christmas Eve with a mountain of presents STILL to wrap.

Also, there is only tension because He, The Big Boy of The House, does it all wrong.
He is a Christmas luddite.
Who, WHO, puts the tinsel on first?
FIRST???!!!

I mean I ask you.

Christmas friggin' Caveman.

Finally, we agreed.
translation: I did it

In any event, I love plastic and, spare me the gushings about the smell, blah blah blah.

As a kid, the tree was always plastic, so Arôme Arbre de Noel Plastique is a very exciting, happy one for me.

Further, no pathetic tree corpse will be lying outside our house in early January.  Discarded.

We don't need you now, get out.
No one wants your smell in January.
In January, Tree, you stink.

How do you people live with yourselves?!

Come the Resurrection of Christmas Trees Past, I tell you, I am in the clear.

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Also, there's something else.
If we have a real one, the dogs would wee on it.

So you see? The Christmas miracle has come early.  Day 16 and Tree has NOT been soiled.  Yet.

This, Friends, is a PB for Ollie (The Stripy One).

Our very own Christmas Miracle.

Goodbyes - the hidden Expat Tax

Did you know?

Expats, certainly ones living here, are soulless, money-grabbing, selfish capitalists who only wish to accumulate more of the filthy lucre. At any cost.

We booze and swill hundreds of ££ or $$$'s down our ever-open, ever-stretched gullets like so many young magpies.

Gorging. Gorging. Gorging.

Having invaded, and driven out the smaller weaker of our kind, from their palm-tree shaped nests (swimming pool included), we roar with evil laughter whilst rolling naked in our money-pits (we all have them), twirling our evil moustaches.

Apparently.

All of us.

I don't think so.

Can I just say, before we move on, that I am not convinced that I drink/get drunk here, any more than I did in either of the other countries I have lived in.

In fact, I think there is a good chance I do it less.

Now, this is NOT because I am oppressed, by virtue of my weaker inferior sex nor in fact ... as everybody outside the MiddleEast seems to think* ... because I am not allowed to.
*Ditto driving.  Ditto eating pork.

Here, let me explain.

I like to call it:

The GeMTHH (GetMeTheHellHome) Quotient 

It looks like this:



Essentially, we need to establish if A is greater than the value of G

A = Amount of Alcohol-induced Fun likely OR Alcohol-Required to Induce Fun
G = Getting Home Afterwards Aggravation / Urgency

Thus, in Dubai, I often drive.

In HongKong, you step outside (unless it is raining), *BOOM* there's a cab & before you know it, you are getting yourself the Hell home.

It is less easy, in my experience, here in Dubai. Unless, I guess you are doing your Mr Creosote obscene amount of consumption in a hotel.

I just like to get home, when I want to go home.

I don't wish to order a taxi at a specified time BEFORE I've even begun to have all the Fun .......... nor do I wish to, when I have decided to call 'time' on the Fun to wait for what could be anything from
"10 minutes away" to
"30 minutes coming" to after all that,
"not coming now. No taxis."
(assuming they even answer the phone at that point).

I digress.  Yet again.

I have a habit of doing that.

See? I did it again.

Taxis and drunkedness is not what I want to talk about here.
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Goodbyes.

That is what I want to talk about.

Good byes are the hidden Expat Tax. And it weighs heavy on us all.

There are the most commonly thought of Goodbyes -
* the agonisingly sad driving away from home, airport-bound.

* the stomach-churning Let's All Be Brave & Practical Until the Very Last Second and Pretend This Isn't Really Happening.

OR the hideous farewells actually AT the airport.  The Stomach-Churn will follow you here.  You cannot escape the Stomach Churn.

Both scenarios.  Horrific.  The guilt.  The good ol' fashioned waaaaaa-hahhaahahaaaaaaaaa sadness.  The suppression of the I Wanna Drop Everything and Run All The Way Home reflex.


There is another kind of Expat Goodbye too.  Which also hurts.  And doesn't require you to go anywhere.

The one where people leave YOU.

No no no.  WE leave!  WE do the leaving! Goddammit. ..................................WE do NOT get left!

This Goodbye happens when other Expats leave, to either stop being Expats or, to go be Expats somewhere else.

Making strong connections with other people can be really hard anyway, but, when you are an Expat can be really extra-hard.
Our world is very transient.

When you live away from family & friends, people that have known you through the bad haircuts, teenage dramas or relationship euphoria and hiccups, when you DO make what feels like a real connection, it can be quite intense.

I've touched on this Friend thing before - in The Rugby Post & also, in The Happiness Vampires

Friends, the good 'uns, become an immediate practical source of support when you do not have your family immediately at hand.

Sometimes that support comes in the very simple form of just a Proper Belly Laugh.

Maybe handing you a cold one, that makes you contemplate a certain algebraic equation.  Remember what we were talking about earlier?

Or letting you roll in their Money-Pit.

Goodbyes suck. All of them.
Whether you are the Leaver or the Leave-ee.

"We all share the same Moon" - the Chinese Moon Festival

I do love a festival.

And my 2nd favourite Chinese Festival approaches:

The Moon Festival 

See, this is what I mean about digging the Eurasian thing - I get to do alllllll the festivals.

* Halloween

* Christmas

* Chinese New Year (my #1 Chinese festival), 

* even Tihar (Nepalese festival, that on one of the days celebrates the Dog - what's NOT to love about THAT one???!!! for crying out loud, just look at these Nepali police dogs)

.......I am all over ALL of them.

The Legend

There are a few variations on the legends surrounding the Moon Fairy.  You should know that there is also a rabbit, on the moon but I don't know really how the rabbit fits with it all.

Doesn't matter.  I'm happy to accept the rabbit. And am not one to get hung up on semantics.  Just as well considering  what we are talking about here.

So, here is the Moon Fairy:

Moon Fairy, Chang'e

 Her name is Chang'e.

And here's the story that my Mum told me.

A long time ago, in China, a strange thing happened one morning.

Instead of one sun coming up, suddenly......
... there were ten.

As you can imagine, this was exceedingly problematic.  

It was too hot, the crops wouldn't grow, they were all being burnt up.  The ground was scorched and there was not enough water.  

The people and the animals started to die.

Hou'Yi was a very skillful archer.  The best in all the land and he had an idea to save China.

He would shoot down nine of the 10 suns.

Which he did.

And everyone was greatly relieved and relievedly grateful - which, I guess, not being scorched up by 10 suns will do.

As a reward for his great service, the Heavenly Queen gave Hou'Yi a magic pill (some people say that it was an elixir but my Mum told me a pill so I am going with pill).

This pill was a Pill of Immortality.

Thing is Hou'Yi had his head turned by all the fame and gratitude and, as it happens, was not such a nice guy.

I don't have the details 'Not Very Nice Person' is enough I feel.

So much so that his Wife felt that it would NOT be a good idea that this guy lived forever.  So she went to find where he had hidden the Pill.

She found it but, almost instantly Hou'Yi discovered her.  She quickly hid it in her mouth but was so frightened by him shouting and questioning her, that she accidentally swallowed it!

Hou'Yi was furious & started to chase her.  Chang'e was terrified and ran away as fast as she could.  She ran and ran and ran ............................................ and ran and ran.  

She was so terrified that, when she got trapped, she jumped out the window ....................................................................................

..................................................................................................

...........................................................................................but instead of falling to the ground, she started to float. 

Up, Up Up Up Up she floated, with Hou'Yi still on the ground trying to shoot her down with arrows.

She floated all the way to the Moon & that is where she lives now, still.  With a rabbit.

How we celebrate Moon Festival

Well, if we were at home in Hong Kong, we'd go out with our Moon Festival Lanterns and look at the moon, with our family and friends.

Last night, my Dad messaged me that he and Mum were going to my PorPor's (maternal grandmother) for Moon Festival dinner, because Moon Festival is about gathering with family & those that we love.

There are some traditional things that get eaten at this time & the most well known would be the 

Moon Cake.

The egg yolk inside is
supposed to represent the Moon

Between you & me .... YUCK!

I am not into Moon Cake but, both The Trousers and The Boy love them!!

My favorite thing, hands down are the LANTERNS

Some of last year's lanterns

Our garden, last Moon Festival

Moon Festival is a time for gathering, as I say, with family & loved ones.  For those that cannot be with family, we can all look at the beautiful moon and think of them.

Short video about Mid-Autumn Festival (makes me cry a little but, look out for the rabbit!!!)

We are all under the same moon.

Ancient Chinese Poem: 

"The Moon was rising from the sea & 

all the people were sharing this moment"

This year, we will be meet with good friends & take the kids down to a beach here in Dubai in the evening.

We will have a picnic, enjoy a few homemade lanterns & looking at the Moon at her most beautiful.

As expats, there seems to be an extra-poignant aspect to it, being away from those we love, we will look at the Moon and think of those far away, that we miss at these times.

Happy Moon Festival, everyone.

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HA!!
You didn't believe me about the Rabbit, did you!?

He is the Jade Rabbit & HE is the one that makes the Immortality Potion/Pills.  On the Moon.