House at Pooh Corner

House at Pooh Corner
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Tuesday, 22 January 2019

Battles at The Fringe

Keep your friends close they say, but your Enemies closer.

Lucky me. 
Mine Enemy is close.  Very very close.
Like, Mine Enemy is 'right up in my face'-kinda close and has been for years.

And yet it seems, familiarity has definitely bred contempt.
Even from the earliest days our relationship has been troubled:
Would you just LOOK at that thing?

Granted, the actions of a 3rd Party have certainly not make our journey any easier.
Yeah, I'm looking at you, Mama of Roo. The evidence really only points in one direction.

Straight is for losers.
And so, we agreed to go our separate ways.

Yup, throughout the '80s & '90s, it was just Me & the Madonna Perm, The Rachel and The Natalie Imbruglia*.
We never spoke of Her.

* Yes, I know (now) that having their haircut DOESN'T make you actually look like them, but they were 2 very stupid decades

I don't, to this day, know what She told others about me.


But look! Things are clearly working out for Winkleman & Hers.

OK, we are different creatures, Winkleman & I.
Hers looks a jolly, amenable, shiny happy thing
And she will have 'people' to handle it. 

I don't got people but I DO got High Irritability Levels and a Short Attention Span when it comes to negotiating with terrorists.
Further, I am ill-inclined to kowtow to that effing thing & its unknown bloody demands.


Between You, Me & The Proverbial, I need Her more than She needs me these days.  Trouble is, She knows it.
I have cajoled, I have negotiated & when rudely ignored, I have tried to force submission.
THAT did not go well. I don't know why I thought it might.

Are these things really SO needy? Why so high maintenance?
Why so bitchy?
How can it APPEAR to agree to 3 fairly simple requests (hang straight, stay there! and ideally, don't poke me in the eye) and allow me to leave my house thinking Today Is the Day.

Before spectacularly scrumpling & skewing itself into some flimsy cow-licky monstrosity.
Such a bitch.

Just cover up the wrinkles, you cow.

Yup, another one.


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