House at Pooh Corner

House at Pooh Corner
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Friday, 2 August 2013

Holiday (Summer) 2013 - Juggling with nitroglycerin

It's, oh, so quiet .........
Everyone is in bed.  House is settling down for the night.
There's that silence.

Ringing in my ears (THAT'S how quiet it is).  Little whistles in my nose (not sure what that is about). Gurgles from my stomach.

The occasional car whishhhhhhs by outside.  That lovely whishy sound cars make, when it isn't raining anymore but the road is still wet.


Ahhhhhhhhhhh .................................. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And then,

The Drunk People get out of their cab.  And they are Rowing.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, brilliant! Curtains twitch (mine).

Lights (also mine) stay off.  I'm no Curtain-twitchy, Spying on Rows on the Street newbie, you know.

Trousers, in bed, "What ARE you doing?"

Oh, SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......................................................

Trousers shrugs, back to iPlayer, relieved he isn't Rob.

She does sound a bitch, mate, but I don't fancy telling her and, neither should you.

"Rob! Roooooobbbbbbbbbbbbb!!!!! ............"

Rob, love, do like she says and stop walkin' away from 'er, would'you? (This is the REAL Gavin & Stacy & it is happening right outside the window.)
And, Rob, honestly, say something.

Guys, in order to prevent yourself from getting stabbed, in these scenarios, you have GOT to say something. Clamming up is a dangerous strategy, mid-row, with a woman.

Clam up = high stab risk.  Like juggling with nitroglycerin.

From the outside, in the Public Row Situation, we (WomanKind) do not come out well.
We circle, we stamp, we storm off.  There is the arm-waving and there is the And Another Thing thing.
Oh, and something happens to our volume control.
Seems we then, are limited solely to Deafening Shrew (default setting, on most models of the species) or the Menacing Hiss (the recommended upgrade)

But, Men of The World, at least we are trying to work things out.

No, we ARE.  Really we are.
It doesn't sound like it but we are mystical that way, it's why you liked us in the first place (maybe) & the onus is on you to be able to read between the lines.

Listen up, Young Fellow M'Lad, those of you subscribing to the Go Silent & It Might Go Away school of thought are i) sadly mistaken & ii) going to get everything you deserve.

And meanwhile, back to The Street Outside:
Who knows what this is about.
Perhaps there was a difference of opinion with another male of the species re pint spillage. 
Possibly Rob went to meet her workmates for the first time and didn't actually speak to anyone.
MAYBE Rob's ex was also in the pub & She, of current Shrew status, felt that he was looking over too much.

Who knows.

 ...............I wish I knew.

And, dammit, they are moving further away and I can't quite hear anymore.

1 comment:

    I take it back. Never have a wanted a guy to speak up more, not for his own safety but to silence a screaming unreasonable shrew.

    The following was witnessed just an hour ago in Tesco Swansea.

    A young 'lady', well spoken and beautifully turned out, lost what I can only described (& please, pardon the language but, as you will see it will only get worse) as her 'shit' with her rugby-player type & most affable looking boyfriend.

    From approx 4 aisles away she shrieked "Where the F*** have you been??" (he was standing still, with the trolley, next to the milk).
    She slammed whatever it is she had into trolley and then continued berating him, at point-blank range.
    He just stood there.

    Dear Reader, I continued on my way & was about 2 & half aisles away, when I heard her shriek (again, please, forgive the *ahem* vernacular) "you stupid fat f***ing turd".

    In THIS case I know what vexed her. The whole sodding shopfull of Saturday shoppers was very clear on what vexed her.

    He was supposed to be "FOLLOWING HER, FOR F***'s SAKE".

    Well, I hope she feels better for her little display.

    And, I hope He tells her to get stuffed.



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