House at Pooh Corner

House at Pooh Corner
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Tuesday, 18 June 2013

The 'right' way to beat your child

Recently this 'parenting' book & its teaching has been brought to my attention.

Now the Scientist in me knows that I need to read this book for myself. 
Scientist Roo also knows that she need to spend more time researching & reading around the view points.

BUT, based on just the comments within the review section of the Amazon link, the Gut Instinct Roo is mortified at what this man is teaching people & what people think is ok.

From my initial research this man has no background in child psychology, child development, science or anything that I believe would qualify him to be telling people how to raise their children.

He has a BA in History & a Masters in Divinity & what I think is a Doctorate in Ministry (not sure.)

Here are some quotes from the book that I found on another blog:

p.134 “Acquaint your children with authority and submission when they are infants. This training starts the day you bring them home from the hospital.”

p.142 “You must provide examples of submission for your children. Dads can do this through biblical authority over their wives, and Moms through biblical submission to their husbands.”

p.106 “Watch a baby struggle against wearing a hat in the winter. Even this baby who cannot articulate or even conceptualize what he is doing shows a determination not to be ruled from without. This foolishness is bound up within his heart. Allowed to take root and grow for 14 or 15 years, it will produce a rebellious teenager who will not allow anyone to rule him. The spanking process drives foolishness from the heart of a child. Confrontation with the immediate and undeniably tactile sensation of a spanking renders an implacable child sweet.”

p.151 Tripp describes the whipping procedure: take the child to a private place (so nobody can stop the abuse), make the child confess, tell the child "how many swats he will receive", put the child over your lap (as Tripp says, to "put the spanking in the context of your physical relationship" (!!)), pull the child's diapers or "drawers" down and whip them. Then pull the child up and show affection.

p.154 “When your child is old enough to resist your directives, he is old enough to be disciplined.

Rebellion can be something as simple as an infant struggling against a diaper change or stiffening out his body when you want him to sit on your lap. When our oldest child was approximately 8 months old, we were confronted with parenting our first mobile child. We had a bookshelf constructed of boards and bricks. Fearing the shelf would fall on him, Margy told him not to pull himself up by the shelf. After moving him away from the shelf, she left the room. As she peeked in on him, she observed him surveying the room. Not seeing her, he headed back toward the forbidden bookshelf. Here was a young child, not yet able to walk or to talk, looking to see if the coast was clear so he could disobey. Obviously, he was old enough to be disciplined.”



I, personally, feel desperately uneasy with all of this - I want to explore WHY I feel so uneasy about this.

The position I am coming from with this:

* I am not anti-religion - far from it.  However, I believe whatever you believe is personal & I have
   no patience for tub-thumping.
   Extremist-Atheists are every bit as tedious & intolerant as extremist-Whatevers.  Believe in nothing
   or believe in the Great Pumpkin, I don't care. Just don't tell me that you have all the answers &
   everyone else is deluded/evil/blahblahblah
   I am very interested in learning about all sorts of faiths, beliefs, non-beliefs, conspiracy theories. 
   Love it. Want to learn all about all of it .......... WHICH IS HOW I FOUND THIS BOOK

*  I cannot say that I would never smack The Boy. 
    To date, we have never had to.
    But we'd never rule it out but, again, to date, we have yet to come across a scenario when we
    would feel it was
a) appropriate
b) would have taught anything or
c) that THAT course of action would have made whatever the scenario we were in, better.

* I have some, and I did not expect this to happen when I became a Mum, Tiger Mum tendencies.
   I have exceedingly high expectations in terms of behavior &, I have a strong commitment to
   emotional & social intelligence (personally, a work in progress for myself & my job is to help the
   Boy grow in that way as well)

And so, given all that, I'm going out on a limb here (back to that Tree-Hugger Roo perhaps) -

I do not understand, given alllllllllllllllllll we now know about Child Development, the Acquisition & Experimentation of & with Language, the importance of Exploratory Behavior in young children, Emotional & Verbal Expression & the importance those things have on growing Self-Confidence, honing Decision-Making & the making of good choice skills - how anyone can believe that unquestioning  submission to a biologically superior being (and this superiority may be reinforced by physical means if necessary) is ok.

We don't even believe it in dog training anymore*

I don't wish to cause any offence.  Not at all.  I just do not understand.

* a WHOLLLLLLLLLLLE other rant


  1. Love your rants...

    Definitely food for thought this one.. all be it mouldy should be taken off the shelf immediately stuff... how anyone can advise on how and why to 'whip' your child (I noted the do it out of sight so obviously this person knows its wrong really) and to sugar coat it with the belief this is what God wants.. well my God has certainly never mentioned cruelty to children as part of his manifesto!

    Would be interesting to talk to an adult who was brought up with this method and see just how well adjusted to life they are!


    Not all Christians agree with what that guy is saying either, btw.

    Turns out there are a few such books available.

  3. The followers of this man have already beaten and abused several children (most heartbreakingly a small girl adopted from Ethiopia) to death. To death. The government is seeking ways to bring him up on charges, but thus far has been unable to do so. There is no situation, ever, where hitting a child is the only way. It may be the easier way, or the faster way, but it is never the only way. It is never a good idea to hit an adopted child -- you cannot know the abuse they may have suffered before you got there.




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